it has easily been 45 days of unrelenting change.
change of environment (nw to bay), change in job (beans to fruit), change living conditions (quiet neighborhood close to work to dt tiny condo w/an hour plus commute), change in that secure feeling you have when you know your stuff (being a newbie sucks!), change in personalities (or maybe just an amplification of what’s always been). they say change is good – who are the “they” that say this? change has been disruptive, expensive, unsettling, filled with anxiety and uncertainty. not to sound like a ‘debbie downer’ on this day of hearts and flowers, but it’s been a weekend of continued back breaking work to get out of boxes – doing most of the work isolated and alone with attitudes and unnecessary negative energy in the midst. why? it has to get done, and im sure as hell not doing it all by myself! imo, this is not the environment i want to create a new home in, nor the way a weekend should be spent. im exhausted, period. my conclusion to the weekend is we continue to evolve, stay the same, or stop living. im taking door number 1, and hoping for the best outcome for all involved.
as I recount the last 45 days and most recent 48 hours, I also wonder where we would be if nothing changed? I am a firm believer that change is necessary. it is the catalyst for new things, the producer of growth, of new connections and innovation. maybe “they” are me – change is good….it’s just hard, and sometimes illuminates the inevitable.
change > experience > growth > change