the shift

it’s day 72 for me. seventy two days since he cheated on me with someone he knew online for 2 weeks, requested me to open our happy (his words) 10 year committed relationship to become polyamorous, decided that he no longer wanted to be any part of the very new lifestyle change we had made together which involved moving from city life to a life of urban farming on 10 acres, and that because we never married he no longer was going to be responsible for any of the investments (read mortgage/farm). This project started out of my sheer need to share all of my hurt, confusion, and pain and also to provide a place of connection for others dealing with similar scenarios. We don’t talk about the aftermath of what infidelity does to us. We don’t talk about how broken trust on multiple levels changes us forever. I want this space to provide a place for healing to begin. THE SHIFT happened for me yesterday. I don’t know what did it, or why now, but I feel good. I feel hopeful, I feel full of love for myself. I know forgiveness is still something I will have to get to, but for now I feel grateful to be free of the marginalized happiness I was living in. Trying to just do my best to get along and take his shit and pick my battles – no more. I am FREE, WHOLE (or getting there) and HAPPY. I still have a journey ahead of me as we all do, and I will still be here to post uplifting and thoughtful messages. I feel cautious that this feeling may not last, but I’m holding on to it for as long as I can and building on it so that it strengthens day by day! If you’ve made the shift, I’d love to hear about it!! visit http://www.btrayed.com to share your story anonymously, or help someone who is dealing with the pain of infidelity. ❤️