as you may know I’m a paper girl. stationary, notebooks, journals, paper prints of photography, framed art….I love it all!
this morning on my bus ride I created, and ordered thank you cards with images of my boogie.
artifact uprising is an amazing printing company (with a cute mobile app for your instagram or mobile phone photos)!
digital thank you’s are great, but mailing a thank you note can brighten someone’s day – order some thank you cards today!!
it’s over. you know when it’s time to let go, to move forward, to cut the weight that’s been holding you back.
that time has come. for me and Facebook, and this has been a long time coming. something I’ve contemplated for a year. I’ve taken baby steps. not posting for a week. turning off the notifications badge so I wouldn’t be nagged to click that cute blue icon. I’ve cleaned up my friends list. cut down the groups I’m a part of. but you’ve won every time FB.
you are the first thing I check when I wake up. (ugh I hate admitting that), but I need to know what’s happening in the world of my friends and peer photographers. the Aussies always post while I’m sleeping and I love my Aussie friends! how many likes have images I’ve posted in private groups received, or what feedback/critique have I been given? let’s go back to my friends. who are my “friends”? some are people I’ve known a lifetime. some are people I haven’t seen in over 15 years, and some are people I’ve never met but we share a common interest. I’ll miss you, but I’m not actually going anywhere (physically). find me, let’s stay connected!
FB you are addicting, but not productive. yes, I’ve learned things. I’ve found people to mentor me, I’ve been inspired by the groups I belong to…but I can find all of that outside of your walls. I’ve been supported “online”, and felt the FB swell of birthday love. it’s great, but wouldn’t it be better if it were a phone call or personal text message? it’s so easy, it’s too easy.
you have billions in your web. and I think it might be nice to not be one of them. to take my life back. to stop being bombarded by your cheeky ads that combine my attending UW and loving the Seahawks into cutesy saying on sweatshirts I’ll never buy. being without you might be hard at first, but I have a feeling the balance will come.
your constant privacy changes, and page layout updates are maddening. you’ve slowed down on those changes, thank you, but I don’t have to be a part of any of it. I don’t want you to think there haven’t been good times – it’s been fun, but we my friend, are at the end of our road.
to my family and “friends”, you can all follow and find me in a few places on the web. I think “real” connections are in order.
2015 is my year of simplification, and this is a big one.
follow this blog. this is where I’ll be most! general musings. bus ride updates, announcements – don’t miss out. I’d love to have your energy with me.
website: http://www.tallieimages.com — the photography, book mark it.
online galleries: shop.tallieimages.com (this will be linked to the website soon)
instagram: http://www.instagram.com/tallieimages (business) http://www.instagram.com/tallienatt (personal)
500px.com: tallie http://www.500px.com/tallie
vsco.com: tallienat [http://tallienat.vsco.co/1]
pinterest.com: tallienat [mix of business and personal boards]
ello: http://www.ello.co/tallie-nat periodically I’ll post here. (let me know if you need an invite)
I have a tumblr and a two twitter accts (find me), but I rarely use them and if that changes it will be on the blog.
last but not least – old fashioned email: tallieimages at gmail dot com
I turn the lights off on both my personal and business pages February 1st at midnight.
xo
natalie
woman = daughter. sister. girlfriend. wife. mother. friend. lover. partner. estrogen driven human.
we are not always easy to understand. we do not always know why we do, say, or act a certain way. we are hormonal, and with that comes the responsibility of bringing life into the world.
I think we all strive for connection. basic human connection that comes in the form of a mate, a partner who we can trust and feel a sense of protection and security with, someone who will accept us as we are.
as children in western society we are presented with stories of how to achieve that connection. the fairy tales of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. the happily ever after, and the some day our prince will come – if we are beautiful, a certain size, not too smart, domestic and subservient. while boys were taught math and science, encouraged to play sports go to college, girls were given dolls, taught to cook and bake, shown how to apply makeup and pay attention to fashion trends so that we’d be desirable.
that was 40-50 years ago – right? today women are equal, we can do anything a man can do, we can go to the same universities, obtain the same post graduate degrees, fire a gun along side men on the front lines of battle, earn the same money for the same job and have long successful careers outside the home. right?
we are natural born care givers. nurturers by design, and that comes out if we choose to have children and stay home to raise them. if we choose not to have our own children we may have nieces and nephews to spoil and guide, and if we have pets they may become our outlet for our nurturing spirit. for women who choose a career, I see mentoring and growing a team as a similar type of nurturing. our husbands, boyfriends, partners even get a lot of this natural attention. we are natural givers and I’d bet any combination of the before is how most women see themselves.
the strength and beauty that comes from seeing a woman for what she really is inside is a sight to behold. she is vulnerable, strong, caring, forgiving, accomplished, smart, sexy, and all things womanly.
woman = daughter. sister. girlfriend. wife. mother. friend. lover. partner. estrogen driven human.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback…
model: anna kawakami, hair/makeup: kathleen marie tinney, super assistant: maria giacona
concept 1 will be born tomorrow. I’m nervous. excited. anxious. it’s all the normal emotions I have before a shoot. I am prepared – I think. the concept is clear, the mood board is done, the models are secure, I’ve had a meeting with hair and makeup (Becky you are going to rock this!), my biggest cheerleader is on board and has a crew lined up to help him set up my vision.
concept 1: in between. we’ve all been in that space. adolescence: not a child not an adult. separated: not married in the true sense of it, but not single. that in between state is a state all on it’s own. it’s recognized and acknowledged, but it’s still in between. my first expression of ‘in between’ will reflect my upbringing in an all white community and my internal struggle feeling accepted by my black community. I was influenced, and imprinted by my childhood community but never fully accepted. I am accepted by the black community to a point (I believe). The ‘Oreo’ nickname I was given still fits – but I prefer to think of my middle as a swirl. I see who I am when I look in a mirror and that is the state I accept – the blended inside, and non-blended outside.
black/white, in black and white. beach shoot, at 7am and there may be rain….
xo
It has taken more than a month to get to today. I needed time to reflect, to absorb, to begin to understand how the workshop affected me. For the first time ever I’ve sat with my images. I fought the instant gratification bug to post them all right away, and did not post them as a complete body of work anywhere public. I took time to study what they said to me, about me. My part of the session we were given to shoot on our own was my vision, my posing, and my expression of my own inner fears and strengths. What I am sharing today is from that session, but it is just the beginning. I’ve sold everything my business had acquired to support newborns, and I’ve made the decision to no longer take new clients. My photography will be about my life, my upbringing, my family dynamics and being a black woman. I am so excited to start this first phase of work – and sit with it for as long as it takes for me to be comfortable to share it with you. On that note – here is the work from the July workshop at Motherwell Ranch in Colorado, with Jennifer Thoreson featuring my amazing model Heather Sebald.
click the collage to enlarge
Gallery one: my internal dialogue.
Gallery two: my external being.
I hope you enjoy this new beginning, and stick around to watch this chapter unfold.
xo – natalie
I don’t think I’ve been this excited to visit a new place since Paris.
4 days in Hawaii with my baby girl. it’s always been a dream of mine to travel with my kids. one on one. a trip to somewhere far away, where we connect, experience and learn about a new culture, or just relax and catch up with each other.
I’d say South Africa was the first of these trips. it included friends, and family – but I was there with my kids!
Hawaii will be my first trip and Taylor’s second. Maui will be a first for both of us.
day one.
flight: earrrrrly! out of San Jose to get a direct flight and avoid a 10 hour trip (layovers suck). left home at 5:20am to make a 7:45am boarding. made it no prob.
I’ve found that traveling alone gives me LOTS of time to observe. I’m attracted to the elderly on planes. maybe because I’m confined and have to pay attention. maybe because when I sit near a restroom, they are always there, maybe because I am entering their bracket. who knows. I just know I want to talk to them. to learn their story. to understand what they’d tell me about me at my age or about them at my age.
landed, waited for Taylor to land and headed to our paradise home for there next 4 days. there are lots of kids here which is great, and fortunate for them. I can’t imagine the lifestyle they live on a day to day basis where the Four Seasons is a hotel choice for their family vacation. the grounds are like the garden of Eden if I had to imagine what it might have looked like. beautifully manicured gardens, fountains, fragrant plumeria and smiles from all the staff, all the time. I love that they come from behind the desk to hand you a key or map. the service feels like Nordstrom – back in the day.
we’ve taken a spa where we were cocooned and floated and rubbed down with Shea Butter, so we are two super soft chocolate sisters (yes we have been mistaken for sisters – don’t worry Taylor, it used to happen to me too with grandma. You come from a good gene pool). and we hung out in the eucalyptus steam room that made scary guttural sound every time it delivered steam which made us giggle like fourth graders.
day 2.
today it’s off to explore some nearby towns, get the souvenir purchasing out of the way and take in some downtime. beach time. nothing time.
paddle boards. I can see them float by in the ocean from our patio. no one falls down on their paddle boards. I hope I don’t fall.
so there was no paddle boarding, but there was a lot of body surfing. weeeee! so much fun to jump and play in the waves of the pacific ocean. what was not so much fun is the screaming tooth ache I landed with. it’s progressively gotten worse, and forced a mainland call to my dentist for help. looks like dental surgery for an incorrectly placed root canal is in my near future. GAH! popping antibiotics chased by probiotics, tylenol and ibuprofen was not how I envisioned these four days – but a lot of pain is not going to keep me from having a great time with Miss Taylor.
Speaking of the daughter — I think she has enjoyed everything so far. She is a wonder to watch, and I still love to just watch her sleep. It was cute when she was a baby, and it might be kind of creepy now – but I’m her mom, what can I say. She is trying hard to just relax and be in the moment, which is hard knowing that the day after we return to real life she starts the final leg of her engineering degree. She is as prepared as she’s going to get, and I have every confidence in her to stick it out and do well. This whole trip is a celebration of her perseverance. Her “stick-to-it-ness”, her ability to stay focused on her end goal and learn how big mistakes or lack of making a decision along the way impact the overall arrival time. She WILL get this done, and we WILL party party party to celebrate her success.
we found the “serenity pool” (sans kiddo’s) with the swim up bar and we swam up a few times. made chair reservations for tomorrow – this will be where we are if anyone needs us. 🙂
dinner at Spago, and called it a night as we could barely stay awake (the downfall of a lot of sun, and a swim up bar)
day three.
early morning beach walk. it’s my thing to be on out and about before the sun comes up when I travel. I love the feeling of a foreign place with its still asleep — at the beginning of a new day. today, I walked the beach, took a few beautiful images and headed back up to the hotel for breakfast where taylor joined me. we had our second spa experience where we each had “trim and tone” appointments. this was hands down the best spa treatment I’ve ever had. I am a huge fan of vichy showers and this included a full body dry brushing, application of an oil infused with ginger, and cardamon, and a dusting with volcanic ash that was scrubbed into my skin. lymphatic system improvement, blood flow, circulation and reduction of cellulite. it smelled amazing, felt amazing and included a vichy shower. heaven. [maui wins for best body treatment, and cape town still holds the award for best pedicure]
serenity now. the pool was our afternoon campsite. people on their phones, on iPads & kindles, wearing headphones, on laptops and reading books (the old fashioned way). this is how we relax. in the pool, take a lap, swim up grab a refreshment and back to your lounge chair for your choice of entertainment. serenity – no keiki’s – now.
day four.
whirlybird, chopper, copter, eggbeater. yes, we rode in one – over the entire island of Maui. it was the thing I wanted to do most, and the thing Taylor wanted to do least but we met in the middle and had a really fun time. did you know there were varietals of plants from all over the world growing on Maui. Things naturally show up through ocean storms and thrive. there are trees from Africa, Japan, Australia, and the native Kukui Nut. We flew over the dormant volcano, past breathtaking waterfalls and saw the desert, farmland, lush tropical jungle, and beautiful beaches. We even flew over Oprah’s house and her private 3-4 mile long driveway that gets her from the beach to her mountain retreat without having to travel around the island (that’s what having “Oprah status” will get you),
Dinner at Mama’s fish house was accompanied by the best sunset of the trip. Refreshing cocktails and creamy exotic curries and the freshest fish next to my daddy’s salmon.
Oh – I forgot to mention the plumeria. Joshua did an amazing job creating lasting artwork for Taylor and I to remember this trip forever.
day five.
Final morning, final breakfast, and an earthquake. At 1AM (hawaiian time) I woke up. No reason, just wide awake in the middle of the night. I checked my phone and a CNN notification about a 6.0 earthquake just north of San Francisco sent me into a mini panic. 4:15am, no one was going to answer a phone, or a text from me, but I still tried to reach home to get details and make sure everyone was okay. Facebook became my window into what was going on in SF, and nearby towns. Friends in Napa seemed to be the most affected, but the long enduring rolling was felt as far south as San Jose.
Four shooting stars, seven peach slices, two amazing spa treatments, five wonderful days and four balmy nights. thank you Taylor for sharing this experience with me. I can’t wait for our next one…..where should we go?
growth. it’s inevitable. lessons. they’re all around us and available if you’re open to them.
I celebrate one half century of life in a few months, and I am so grateful for every sunny day, every heartbreak, every friendship, and every lesson.
It wasn’t apparent to me the themes that have run through my life until a few weeks ago. The workshop with Jennifer in Colorado was my moment to pause, reflect and really take stock of my journey. The exercise was self imposed, but inspired by so many things. the results were surprising, and provide me the foundation for my next chapter.
When thinking about the major parts of my life, I wrote down the first 4-6 words that came to mind when I thought about that period. Words that represent how those times in my life still make me feel.
>> religious upbringing
>> being raised in a small non-diverse town
>> time in college
>> nine years of marriage
>> being a mother
>> career [nordstrom, starbucks, apple]
>> and the continuum – my family
The themes or words were consistent, except for my careers [which was very eye-opening] and from this exercise there is a story. My story. A message and work to create that represents Natalie. My strengths, weaknesses, fears, insecurities, and lessons learned. There is no blame, no guilt, no negative thoughts or feelings represented in the work that I am about to embark on. It is my truth, and it is complicated, ugly, dark, and twisted. I’m excited to work through it, express it and share it with the world.
My photography is the medium I’ve chosen to tell my story, which means the client aspect of tallieimages is being put on hold for an undetermined amount of time. The families I have worked with will always have me as their photographer (if they choose), but I am no longer taking new clients.
Please grant yourself the permission to follow your heart, to pull back the rug and examine what’s underneath, and learn whatever lessons life has in store for you. They are all around you, and available if you are open to them. It’s never too late for your next chapter.
xo.
I spent a weekend in the mountains doing things I’ve never done:
1. glamping – the art of sleeping outside in a tent that is raised off the ground, has a bathroom and shower, king size bed and electricity. don’t judge, it’s still outside in a tent.
2. frolicking in the wilderness with live elk, deer and bears (black bears which are like giant raccoons, but still bears)
3. shooting with and learning from the amazing Jennifer Thoreson.
Here is a recap of weekend. I am forever changed.
studio.in.the.woods ~ july 25-28, 2014
authentic. true to ones self. from some place deep, and maybe unknown. human. compassionate. encouraging. patient. trusting. real. small victories. one step at a time. beautiful.
a studio in the woods workshop was an opportunity to learn (my addiction). what i thought i was coming here to learn was the process i had seen on creativeLive, but i’ve come away with so much more.
photography is about knowing which end of the camera to look through, knowing the difference between an f-stop and a truck stop, and like everything else in life finding a balance that doesn’t leave you unfulfilled, or kill you from the success.
clicking the shutter, having the correct exposure, creatively composing your subject is all the technical stuff you can really learn almost anywhere. dslr cameras are sold in Costco, and iPhones have put a camera in the hands of almost everyone, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that in my mind. i love seeing my friends instagram feeds, and Facebook galleries – technically correct or not, beauty is being captured and life is being shared.
‘a studio in the woods’ didn’t touch the technical. instead it opened a magical door, in a magical place, and exposed art. jennifer hudson thorsen is an artist. she is creative, shy, soft-spoken, sensitive, self aware, strong and vulnerable. she loves puns, bluegrass music, her sweet husband Greg and her King Charles Cavalier – Olive. she is giving. and by giving I mean all of herself giving. anything we wanted or needed to know, and she was available, and I believe she will always be available to us.
i came to understand the process. to learn Jenn’s process of photographing women in a 10ft ez-up tent (used for backyard picnics). to expose myself to something new. something different. I came see the giant soft box in action, and to visualize how I could leverage it in creating my portraits. my purpose for being here changed within minutes of us getting started.
day one was travel. san francisco to denver. denver to hayden/steamboat springs. hayden to motherwell ranch. this ranch is hands down, the most beautiful, peaceful place i have ever been. 12k acres of amazing. and the people who run the ranch may be the nicest people I have ever met. there is something about waking up to the sound of the wind in the trees, knowing you are surrounded by nature that fills my soul with a calmness. relax. release. reconnect.
day two was time to get real. we started at the beginning. who is jennifer. a very open and personal discussion about her journey. a walk through her work, and influencers, her process in words, and time to share a little bit about ourselves. real. emotional. vulnerable sharing. 15 creative talented people brought together by their admiration of this woman, her work and her spirit – because you can feel even in the youtube videos that are out there. all of us here for different reasons, but all of us here for the same reason – to grow and be inspired.
we observed Jenn at work for 5-6 hours. shooting in the ‘studio in the woods’, shooting bareback on a horse, shooting in a rainstorm with no fear, shooting in the cattails. she pushes herself, pushes her models, and together they create art. right before my eyes – art. fine art. gallery worthy fine art.
day three was tactile. we created beautiful textures from NatGeo magazines and Citra-Sol cleaner. [link to how] we styled our own models – gave direction for hair, makeup and got to create our own wardrobes. and then as teams we spent 4-5 hours shooting. the ranch was ours to play in, and everything was possible. my team [roll_anda aka. rhonda] choose to narrow our focus, and shoot within bookends of a theme. we gave ourselves boundaries. shooting with purpose. the purpose to commit, fail, learn and try again. fail up, as jenn says. create something that speaks, is a reflection of you, and can be the starting place of something greater. for me this process was transformational. finding the boundary took some quiet time to reflect on my own life. my experiences and what themes i could pull out. after writing for a few hours and reading it back it was shockingly clear that i had a few themes, and recommendations on good therapists in the Bay Area may be needed. it’s one of those things where everything seems fine, until you pull back the rug and really look. oh boy!
over my three days in the mountains i did get to see the magical light that is created within the studio in the woods, but what I left with was much bigger than light through a tent. i think my soul opened up, it walked through the magical door into this space of peace and nature and showed me things i had never taken the time to put together about my life. it gave me a propose for my photography, or at least a place to ask “what is photography to me? what is the evolving story i want to tell?”, it also gave me permission to do this work for myself and no one else. a change is coming folks, and i’m excited for it!
authentic. true to ones self. from some place deep, and maybe unknown. human. compassionate. encouraging. patient. trusting. real. small victories. one step at a time. beautiful. and forever grateful.
my images from the workshop will be available in a private gallery – please email me at natalie@tallieimages.com for an invitation if you are interested in seeing the my new beginning.
xo – natalie
final day! and I was worn out. exhausted. couldn’t tell you the day of the week and really wanted to go home.
we packed, ate snacks, cleaned, organized gifts and I slept! with a 9am flight we were up and ready to go by 5.
amazing trip, beautiful city, I time in my life I will never forget. I think we left enough to do for another visit – preferably in the spring/summer.
thank you M for making the last 10
days a easy, pleasurable experience. thank you for allowing me to see Paris through your eyes, and thank you for taking care of me!
love you!
errands. in Paris!
yes we had some running around to do. tax receipts to get straight, gifts to finalize and purchase and the luggage situation to work out.
breakfast on the champs élysées put us in good position to hit the ground running at Louis Vuitton when they opened. next a stop in few sport stores, then home to drop off “the surprise goods”.
once we were out again it was short
lived. a rosary for M, the opera district for a “New York” bar that was closed so another sufficed. I had run out of steam and once back at home, I slept the night away.
wait…. it was New Year’s Eve! there was a show at the Eiffel Tower that had to be taken in!! while I did sleep for a few hours – at 10:30 we went to a local restaurant for dinner and champagne. took a short walk to the park in Passey where we watched the festivities with a group from Germany. they were a lot of fun, and people from all around the globe crowded the streets to celebrate. tons of baby strollers jammed the sidewalks, and cars jammed the streets.
the light show was beautiful – no fireworks though. Paris stopped fireworks a few years ago. we walked home giving and receiving Bonne Annèe’s to everyone. it was a great was to begin two thousand fourteen.
happy new year!!
she said, saw and ate 